Friendship

Old Friends

“Wishing to be friends is quick work, but friendship is a slow ripening fruit.” -Aristotle

I had a best friend in the 5th grade. She and I both liked to write – we wrote stories and poems (hers were better than mine!). We rode bikes, and we were involved together in kids clubs and, later, the youth group at our church. We had spiritual and philosophical conversations that grew in quality through the years.

We remained friends through high school, then our paths diverged (including moving from our hometown), as they often do, though we kept in touch somewhat through social media.

Recently we’ve had the opportunity to reconnect. We scheduled a time to meet and talked for two hours. That wasn’t enough, so we met a few days later and talked for 2 1/2 hours. So many parallel stories and a multitude of memories and revelations; so much common ground in our families – parents, children, grandchildren; our education and career experiences; and, best of all, our commitment to a step-by-step, year-by-year walk with God.

At some point we realized the value of what we had in each other. Growing a friendship takes time. Not just activity time, or conversation time, but years of time. We both have newer friends we value very much, but neither of us has the time to develop a half-century long friendship with another person.

Do you have a friend like that? Maybe it’s time to reconnect and to recognize the value in such a relationship.

Do you need a friend like that? Maybe you don’t have decades to build it, but use the time you have. Be a friend, find a friend. Spiritual friendship is one of the greatest gifts we can give or receive.

“As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.” – Proverbs 27:17, (NLT)

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Only What’s Important

“Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.” – Ephesians 4:29b (NLT)

I have a friend who mentors, teaches, and engages easily in spiritual conversation. After one of those discussions, she followed up with this text which she later shared with me “….I treasure most the conversation we had. I love talking about what’s going on inside of us as we search for meaning for our lives–using the gifts, talents and resources we have been blessed with to help and love on others. I’m at the stage in life where I want to talk only about things that are important.”

I read that and thought of all the lesser conversations I have each day. Then I began to think about what kinds of communication I would describe as important. Here what I came up with:

Relationships: Our conversations should build each other up, encourage, and empathize. This is the kind of talking and listening that shows love and wisdom and draws people together in friendship and community.

Ideas: Let’s skip right over talking about people, things, and events and get to ideas. Great ideas can challenge lazy thinking, steer our futures, and make us better humans.

The eternal: There is perhaps nothing that matters more than talking about knowing God, understanding the Bible, planning our lives for 100 years from now, and walking in harmony with others on our spiritual journey.

Are we stuck talking about the mundane instead of building relationships, entertaining new or old ideas, and connecting with the eternal life of the unseen spiritual world? It may be time to get “unstuck” and start engaging in more of the conversations that matter!

“The true spirit of conversation consists in building on another man’s observation, not overturning it.” – Edward Bulswer-Lytton

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Twinning

“Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil.  For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. ” Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

Twinning. It’s a concept born in the mind of Mother Teresa, the famous little Albanian nun who gave her life to helping people with the severest of needs. Over time, several thousand nuns were called by God to work with her. One of her most often repeated sayings was that they could do nothing without prayer.

So, when a friend of hers wanted to join the work, but was sidelined by physical limitations, Mother Teresa asked her to found an organization made up of others like herself who couldn’t go, but could pray. They called it The Sick and Suffering Co-Workers. Each person from Sick and Suffering was assigned to one of Mother Teresa’s missionaries, and the two became “twins”. When one suffered, the other did, too. When one was on the front lines for God, the other was, too – through their prayer connection.

They prayed for one another daily. They wrote to each other at least twice a year. One twin was homebound and had the time and heart to pray. The other was busily working humbly and daily with the needy and dying, relying on the prayers of her twin.

Do you have a “twin”? A person who prays for you every day? Who suffers when you do and celebrates when you do? Who connects now and then by text, phone, or email? Who will take your call no matter what? I do. For several years now, God has used each of us to do through prayer what neither of us could do without it. Maybe we all need a spiritual twin!

“A true friend is the greatest of all blessings.” – Francois de La Rochefoucauld